Honeymoon

There are few things that change your life quite like a lover. It’s as if everything about your life, full of a career, friends, plans and dreams satisfies and then your lover comes along, and everything gets shuffled around. Our Lover meets awakens us to areas of ourselves that we never knew existed, and we want that perspective forever. We want it to be committed to us.

I remember having a conversation with a good friend of mine who has been married for a few years. He said that before he was married, he assumed that something would happen up at the front of the church, while saying his vows in front of all of those people that would somehow magically change him. But the reality is that it’s a moment just like anything else, full of words, emotions, and commitment. Nothing magical happens at all. The day is just a day, and it flies by. But so does every great experience. Every vacation, game, or hang out with friends eventually ends. But the commitment of his marriage was made, and must be invested in every day in order to grow. An effort must be made to learn and understand tendencies and preferences and a choice will be made to embrace the Lover or walk away.

It’s rare to see people who have been married for a long time and still seem genuinely “in love” with one another. I wonder if there is a moment where most couples just decide that the relationship is not worth the arguments, disagreements, selflessness and sacrifice. I bet the “unhappy” couples didn’t look that way on their wedding day. They were probably so full of happiness and emotion. So why let the issues and differences win? Every married couple has made a commitment to one another. A strong commitment,“till death do us part”.

I am currently in Hawaii. My wife and I spent the past week on the island of Kauai and if you ever get the chance to go there, you must. It is one of the most naturally beautiful places I’ve ever seen on this earth. We are now on the “Big Island” of Hawaii for two more weeks connecting with a University. The University is a community of students from around the globe who have come to study with other Christians and grow in their understanding of God. Part of their education is a three month trip to another country where they focus on social justice issues and missions. Our goal is to train and develop some of the teams and leaders for their service projects at the end of the semester.

In 200 I attended a similar program in England. It was my first big adventure on my own, living in a Castle with 170 students from around the world. The year was full of fun, challenge, and relational growth. I felt so connected to my community there, and to God. But the year ended, and it was back to the Midwest, and on with life, alone. The experience was gone, and I was depressed. It was hard to find happiness, and even harder to connect with God. The “honeymoon” of my experience was over.

I often think about the students who attend these programs, embracing the deeply emotional side of the experience, only to be left feeling unhappy and alone when it’s all over. I hear stories of these sad, and alone individuals all the time. People who “felt so close to God” and were “on fire” and now are just “questioning everything” because God feels “distant”. Couples who has been married for a long time will tell you that the happiness of the honeymoon wears off too, but you learn to find happiness through commitment. But what does commitment look like with marriage, or God, or with anything? When we are all alone God is still God, and He is still good even when we don’t feel it. We can learn a lot from people who are divorced, or still married. It’s that we can always find someone to support our perspective. If we want out of the relationship, we can find someone to help us justify our decision. And if we want to honor our decision to commit, we can find the people to support us as we work through rough patches where it doesn’t “feel” the way we would hope.

The students here at the university are full of passion and excitement as they sit and learn in an environment surrounded by those who love and support them. The community is often referred to as a “true community”, since it makes it feel like a honeymoon of sorts. But eventually the students will leave here, and the honeymoon of happiness will end. They will either embrace the world with their newly ignited relationship, and fight through the tension, or they will throw in the towel and give up because they don’t “feel” like they used too. But true feelings are not always truth. I can feel that someone doesn’t love me, but it’s an assumption on my behalf. It doesn’t mean it’s truth. God loves us, fights for us, and commits to us, even when we don’t feel it. Because the truth is that God will never leave us. His Love never fails. We must find community that encourages our relationship with the Lover. Cause we were never meant to go through this life alone. That doesn’t mean everyone should be married, or only live in Christ centered community all the time. We were meant to live in the tension.

Checked Luggage

I’ve been flying Southwest Airlines a lot lately. It’s such a great airline. They treat passengers extremely well and their flight attendants are ridiculously funny. Yesterday on my flight back from Denver, the flight attendant went through the usual protocol, reminding people that if there is a loss of cabin pressure to stop screaming long enough to put their mask on. I laughed out loud. She then said to put your own mask on before assisting small children, or all of the adults who aren’t listening and will act like small children when something unexpected happens. The 40 people on board who were actually listening applauded when the attendant finished. It was so fun!

I love traveling. Especially flying. It’s crazy that you can get in a huge machine and a couple hours later be so far from where you began. I especially love Southwest because you dont have to haul your luggage around with you. Bag fees are included. Major bonus in my book. I never understand the people who still choose to drag their luggage onto the plane.

I always wonder about the life each person represents on the plane. I’m sure some people travel to visit family and friends, others for business meetings, some might be in the midst of emergency, maybe they are traveling to visit a dying relative, or maybe they themselves are traveling to vistit a doctor for treatment. I like the sports teams that are all together and having fun. They usually change the feel of the flight, because they all talk to one another and break down the barriers of personal space. I always feel bad for the people who sit next to me, because I usually talk to them the whole time. But in just a few hours we are friends, exchanging information and they usually have a Facebook friend invite from me before they even leave the plane.

Easter Sunday was this last week and it was strange. I was in Colorado visiting one of my closest friends and we attended the church where he works. The whole experience just seemed a bit blah. It’s interesting that Easter is supposed to represent the most important thing in the Christian Faith; that Christ came to earth, was crucified as the sacrifice for our depravity, and came back to life miraculously three days later. It’s interesting because everything at church seemed focused on the the video, songs and sermon. But it just didn’t connect. If we have an opportunity to share with people that there is hope in the midst of the craziness of our lives, shouldn’t that come with some actual reality? It seems like church has become an experience, just like a theater, or amusement park, or classroom. We even pay for it.

I think about my flights, and the fact that I pay money, check my bag and enjoy the flight. I guess I could just sit there and listen to music, read a book, or sleep, but all around me are people with stories. People who are, for whatever reason, all going to the same place that I am. I guess curiosity gets the best of me and I want to know about them. I want to know their story.

The same can be said of our churches. We enter spaces with people that we often don’t know, and expect to be taught something that challenges us to be somewhere different then when we walked in the front doors. But what about the lives of those going to the same place you and I are? Are they there to visit family or friends, get help, or in crisis mode? Are they dealing with business, or just checked out? Is there an opportunity in the church to check our luggage or do we make people carry it because it’s too expensive for us to take it for them?

When I walked down to the baggage claim last night a gal came on the intercom and told us to check our bags and make sure that they were ours before leaving with someone else’s by mistake. She also said that the oversized luggage would be at the designated area on the back wall. I thought that it would be so cool if everyone just did a group carry, and helped everyone out. Wouldn’t it be cool if we didn’t hold so tightly to the things that are “ours”. Wouldn’t it be cool to see the people with oversized luggage helped.

The reality is, that we all know the people who want to to continue to claim “their luggage” and we definitely know the people with “oversized luggage”. We just rarely do anything to help others out, or maybe we pretend that no one see’s our need. But everyone is fully aware of those carrying the weight. What if this life is supposed to be shared? What if our churches are supposed to be places where we help one another carry our luggage until we are able to fully leave it?  Is there a greater point to the Christian life than saying a prayer for fire insurance?  Is there more than sermons, songs and videos? Stop carrying your luggage around. Check it. It’s free. Jesus already paid for it. He wants you to be free to enjoy the coffee and pretzels as you engaged with community and grow in your character.

the hem of His garment

Spring has arrived in the great state of Minnesota over the past few weeks. After an unusually snowy winter, flood warnings have been advising us of the rising rivers as the warm air melts all the snow. Although temperatures are only in the high 40’s and low 50’s, the air smells like a fresh Florida evening. There is an excitement that seems to grow in people as they embrace the warmer season.

But yesterday a snow storm came and dropped six inches of fresh, white snow right in the middle of the beautiful spring. I read dozens of Facebook and Twitter posts that yelled at spring for the snow, as if spring itself would somehow give them a calculated response. It’s as if the adjustment to spring were going a little too well, so we started living with the expectation that the weather would just continue to be warm and pleasant. But reality struck, as it always does. We were reminded that we are never in control of the weather, as much as we are never really in control of our lives. Unfortunately, we live with such a false sense of security.

A few weeks ago, I was let go from my job. When that reality struck, it was as if God were personally responding to the question I had posed in my last blog post. I wrestled with the question: if God walked into my job and said “follow me” would I be ready to go immediately? It’s pretty crazy how God answered my prayer that was expressing my deep desire for a greater dependence on Him. While God didn’t actually walk in the door and say “let’s go”, he sure sent the message.

After being let go, I took time in Wisconsin and Illinois to visit family and friends with my fiancé. During my drive back from northern Wisconsin this past Sunday, I started to reflect on the reality that I had been gone for a month and I wondered how I was sitting financially. I started thinking about all the places I’d stayed, the tanks of gas that got me around, and the meals I’d eaten, and I all of a sudden realized that I hadn’t paid for any of it! I was blown away as I recounted the people who had willingly offered to pay for food and gas without even knowing that I’d just lost my job.

Some close friends of mine recently traveled to Korea to visit their brother who has been teaching English there for the past few months. They boarded the plane and started the long flight to Japan, which would be their first stop before flying to Korea. After they had flown for 14 hours, the pilot came on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are beginning our decent and should be landing in Detroit in about 45 minutes.” My friends were so confused! While they were midflight, Japan was being devastated by an 8.9 earthquake and the airport in Japan had been closed. The pilot knew that telling the passengers earlier in the flight would only lead to panic and frustration because they would be helpless to make new plans until they landed.

Eventually my friends made it over to Korea to visit their brother, but their plans had to change. It definitely wasn’t the ideal. No one wakes up in the morning expecting an earthquake, or bad weather to interfere with their plans, or to lose their job. But life keeps happening. Difficult moments simply awaken us to the reality that we have very little control over the events that happen in our lives. So while we don’t get to choose what happens to us, we do get to choose our response.

After losing my job, I didn’t pay for a single thing for a month! But I didn’t even realize it at the time. It took an entire month of God’s provision in order for me to actually realize that He was the One doing it. I was still depending on myself for everything. It sounds so cliché to say “let go and let God” but the reality is that we have to let go of the false notion that we were ever in control to begin with.

As I have reflected on my work experience, I’ve come to the realization that I had such a false sense of security and overconfidence in my job. I felt like I had done great things for our organization and that I was going to eventually leave, but only on my terms. Then God came in and said “Brad, it’s time to follow me. Let’s go.” It was a hard blow to my pride. And it was a bit scary because I didn’t know my next step. But I have found comfort in knowing that I don’t have to have my future figured out. My number one priority is deepening my relationship with the God who anoints every one of my steps and who does know my future.

Frances J. Roberts wrote about it this way:

O my child, I am coming to you walking on the waters of the sorrows of your life; yes, above the sounds of the storm you shall hear My voice call your name.

You are never alone, for I am at your right hand. Never despair, for I am watching over and caring for you. Be not anxious. What seems to you to be a present and difficult situation is all part of My planning, and I am working out the details of circumstances so that I may bless you and reveal Myself to you in a new way.

As I have opened your eyes to see, so shall I open your ears to hear, and you shall come to know Me even as Moses did, yes, in a face-to-face relationship. For I will remove the veil that separated Me from you, and you will know Me as your dearest Friend and as your truest Comforter.

No darkness will hide the shining of My face, for I shall be to you as a bright star in the night sky. Never let your faith waver. Reach out your hand, and you shall touch the hem of My garment.

3:33pm

I find myself looking at the clock at 3:33 in the afternoon almost every day. I thought it would be interesting to google 3:33pm and see what some thoughts are about it. I found all sorts of interesting things. For example:

333 is the ultimate spiritual decision number

The Sun’s mass is 333k times that of the earth

333 means Transition, Change, Travel

333 is increasingly associated with the year 2012 and the completion of current Mayan Maktun, marking the beginning of the 4th world according to the Popol Vuh.

333 means To Awake(physically or spiritually)

Apparently there are a lot of different ways to interpret 3:33pm but I sort of want someone to tell me what it means. I want to believe the astrology web sites that say that I am entering a transition, or change, or better yet that I am going to be awakened spiritually or physically. I wish I could wake up more physically for sure. Coffee just doesn’t cut it anymore.

What is it about the fortune cookies, astrology pages, or palm reading stuff?Why do we obsess over the future? I must admit that I think about it at least two or three times a day. Even recently I’ve been obsessed with the idea of starting up my own business. I want to be free to do my own thing. I want to be free to reach my potential.

Psalm 37:23 says that the “steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord”. I enjoy this promise because it removes the pressure of having to figure it out on my own, or even from an astrology book. Frances Roberts, who I seem to be reading a lot of lately, puts it this way…

My child, hear My voice, and give no heed to the voice of the stranger. My paths are straght, and they are narrow, but you shall have no difficulty in finding them if you watch Me. I am guiding you. You need not look to people for direction. You may learn much by followship with the saints, but never allow any to take the role that is rightfully Mine-to direct your steps. As it is written, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord”-not by the preacher, not by some Christian worker, but by the Lord.

Trust Me to do it, and give Me the time and the opportunity to do it. Be not hasty, and lean not upon your own intelligence.

Rest in Me. I shall bring to pass My perfect will in your life as you believe and live in faith.

The first few books of the New Testament in the Bible tell about Jesus’ ministry on earth and how he challenged the first disciples to follow him. For some of the first, Simon and Andrew, Jesus found them at their fishing jobs, and tells them to leave their nets and follow him. I want to believe that it was just that easy, and yet I know there was a lot more of a back story. What else did they have to “leave” in order to follow.

I know that following Jesus isn’t always a vocational reality. But I wish so badly that Jesus would just walk in the door of my work and say “Brad, come on, let’s go.” It just seems like the disciples didn’t have much to worry about. I would worry about all of my belongings in my house, my car, my bills, etc. I wonder what details Simon and Andrew just left. I wonder if I would really just up and leave.

I want to be ready to leave my current pursuits of life at a moments notice.

Puppies

A close friend of mine just got a puppy. He tweeted and facebooked pictures of the black lab puppy and named it Atreyu from the movie The Never Ending Story. I have to admit that I was instantly envious of his awesomely named puppy. I would love to have a puppy right now. As my friend continued talking about the puppy he confessed that he was already overwhelmed by it. I think he has only had it for a week or so. He admitted to loving the original idea of the puppy, and was just not loving the reality of it. I instantly felt okay with the fact that I do not have a dog. I’m pretty sure I would end up the same way. I think my life is too busy to fit in dog time.

The Superbowl was this past weekend and as a Wisconsin native I, along with all of the other fair-weather fans, cheered on the Green Bay Packers. I’m not the biggest sports fan in the world, so the majority of the game was spent connecting with friends. During the last quarter I had a conversation with a friend who said he was taking time to be away from “the church”. He said that was frustrated that a majority of his friends live a “two faced life”. He is frustrated that they profess to be Christians, but don’t live according to what he thinks is right. We somehow ended up talking about Hosea toward the end of the conversation. I have to admit that I wasn’t listening as intently as I should have since the Superbowl was just wrapping up. But he was so frustrated by the places that his friends were. I just encouraged him to help them see the truth that he so clearly lives.

Tonight I decided to read the book of Hosea. The book is in the Old Testament and draws parallels between Hosea’s marriage to a prostitute and God’s commitment to the nation of Israel. Hosea is told by God to marry the prostitute, and so he does. I mean, you can’t really argue with God, right? So they marry and have kids, but she leaves, and returns to her previous life of prostitution. God tells Hosea to go rescue her again and again from the life of prostitution that she returns to. The parallel is that Israel continually leaves the love of God to return to destructive behavior that they have always known simply because it’s familier. It’s what they have always known, and God’s way just seems more difficult.

I often feel like I’m Hosea’s prostitute wife, or God’s “chosen people” Israel. I quickly forget the reality of my situation. It’s so easy to forget that God’s plan is better. I have to admit that I even willingly walk the opposite direction, forgetting what I’ve been saved from. In my reading from Frances Roberts’ book he writes…

“The fool shall not discern the value and shall cast aside great treasure. The practiced eye knows the true worth of a gem and shall not let it escape him. Thus shall you be in spiritual matters. Train your eye to discern that which is of true worth, and let it not escape you.”

I fear that I am often the fool, casting aside the great treasure of my relationship with God. Training my eye to see the worth seems so foreign. But diamonds are not beautiful rocks when they are in their pre-cut and polished form. I am the prostitute, the diamond in the rough. I quickly forget that God is refining my character.

It’s like my buddy who loves the idea of having a dog, but the reality is so far from the ideal. I want this relationship with God, but when it’s tough, takes time and sacrifice in order to be refined, I want to go back. But everyone loves an obedient, disciplined, and groomed dog. We even call them “man’s best friend”. I have to remind myself that God see’s my potential. I’m still a puppy, but God see’s me as the well groomed and disciplined individual that I’m capable of being. He disciplined Israel, in order to refine them, and I’m in the same process.

the “hook”

I was a huge fan of the show series Lost. I watched it every week with friends, and if I had to miss it, I would be on the computer the following day watching it on line. My friends and I would read into every little detail, and really study the characters. There would be flash backs of the characters lives and we would try to figure out what each flashback meant and how it fit into the overall story.  That show always kept me coming back. The “hook” at the end always left me wanting more. Each episode would reveal something, but also raise new questions. It was frustrating, but SO good!

The church I attend has been encouraging the entire congregation to read through books of the Bible together. We are currently reading through Mark. Mark is one of four “books” in the Bible which primarily tells about the life of Jesus. The quick version of which includes Jesus being prophesied about, born of a virgin, and around the age of 30 having a ministry that included; disciples, miracles, his own death and resurrection, all under the proclamation that he was the one true son of God. Now it’s not an obligation to read Mark, it’s just a suggestion. In a way, it’s sort of like watching the episodes of Lost. We can collectively interact with the same material, and talk about it. I think the books of the Bible even did what the writers of Lost did, just a few thousand years earlier. They answers questions, but still raised more. They gave information, but not every little detail that you might want. They had a good “hook”.

In the beginning of Mark there is a short blurb that speaks about Jesus’ Baptism and Temptation. I’ve read this part of the story before. Jesus is in the water with John the Baptist and the Spirit of God comes down and lands on him like a dove. Then Jesus goes into the desert where he is tempted by Satan for 40 days and of course, because he’s JESUS, he does everything right and he has his big “ministry” for three years. But it just hit me today. Why the tempting right after the Spirit came? It’s like the greatest and worst all in one.

I know that I’m not Jesus. But I know that I have the same Sprit that he did. I know that I’m tempted every day and pretty much have been since I received the Spirit. So if Jesus needed to pass his test of temptation before his ministry could begin. What are the areas that I’ve not passed yet? What are the areas that I need to give up control in? Is there a great ministry that will bring honor and glory to God that I’m missing out on because I’ve not fully trusted the Spirit to guide me past the temptations? For me, the answers to these questions are the greatest “hook” of all time!

My fiance recently shared a quote by DL Moody, “The world has yet to see what God can do through one man whose heart is fully devoted to him.” After she told me that, I wanted to be that man. I WANT to be that man.

Changing Lanes

I am a super impatient driver. I rarely follow the speed limit, and get extremely frustrated when people are in the fast lane going the speed limit. I think that my impatient nature is in full swing when I’m behind the wheel. I’ve taken the Strengths Finder assessment and my third strength is Activator. It pretty much means that once the direction is set, I have to get going. When I’m in route to my destination in my car and hit traffic–particularly if it’s a drive that doesn’t usually have traffic–I get frustrated. I know the potential. I know how a highway full of competent, focused drivers can flow. However, I also know that there are people who are texting, eating, talking, or just plain lolly gagging all of which slow them down. Multitasking is great, don’t get me wrong, but when it greatly slows down your pace, is it really worth it?

I had a conversation with some friends of mine the other day about their family. Both parents work, and their kids are too young for school so they have them both in daycare. They were talking about the stress of it all, and how financially tight things were. It made me think of a study that a gal did in one of my college classes. She found that the financial benefits to putting kids in day care were often slim to none after all expenses were factored in for households with two working parents. At the end of the day, I guess it all depends on what the “expenses” are for each couple, but I couldn’t help but think of the time expense as those parents would never make enough money to buy back the lost time with their young kids. Now don’t get me wrong, for some families, both parents make outrageous amounts of money and the costs of daycare, cars, babysitters, meals, etc. are not a big deal, but how much does time cost? How much would you pay for another day with someone you love who is taken from your life unexpectedly? Or how about time with a best friend who moved far away and you never get see anymore?

Whether it’s my expectations for how someone should drive, or the time I spend with family or friends, they rarely meet my ideal. I always wish my job had fewer demands, more pay, and was less stressful. I wish that people would be more attentive when they drove. I wish that I could take back the money that I spent on things that I didn’t actually need, that never made me happy anyway, but that I then spent months paying for on a credit card. I wish I could have avoided the devision that resulted from arguments I’ve had over petty preferences rooted in pride. I wish that I never would have pursued illegitimate means of satisfying legitimate needs. I wish I could handle the “trials” of my life with greater confidence.

I am becoming hopeful that my “wishes” can become my reality for the future. I’m realizing that the wisdom to make better decisions, to invest in the relationships that matter, and to swallow my pride is available. James 1:5 puts it this way, “If any of you lacks widsom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” I am also realizing that wisdom is not just knowing the right information, but it’s implementing it.

An excerpt from a book I’m reading said it this way…

“My Child, do not expect the trials to be lighter than in the past. Why should you think the tests would be less severe? I test all things, and there are areas of your life that as yet I have not touched. Do not look for respite. The days ahead may call for greater endurance and more robust faith than you ever needed before.

Welcome this, for you must surely know how precious are the lessons learned through such experiences. Even if you are unable to fully anticipate them with joy, you can certainly gain an appropriate appreciation of them in retrospect.

Apply your heart to learn wisom. This goal transcends every other aim, and any other good that comes out of a pressure period is an added blessing in excess.

Seek Me above all else.”

I think it’s hard to seek God in the moments when I’m frustrated with traffic, things at work, family, or just life in general. But I’m learning that I can change lanes. I can plan ahead for traffic and expect that the unexpected will put a wrench in things from time to time. It’s my choice to seek a relationship with God that grants me wisdom in every situation of life. I always have a choice.

 

 

 

black and white keys

I stopped by my cousins’ house the other day. There was a note on their door that said, “no visitors, let US call YOU”. The sign caught me off guard because their house is always open and hopping with life and energy as the 7 of them do life together under one roof. I love visiting because it’s always full of laughter and great conversations.  But apparently they were NOT about fun and hanging out this particular afternoon. I immediately sent a text to my cousin and asked why the rude note was on the door. I wondered why they couldn’t just lock the door and not answer if people stopped by. My cousin went on to explain that they were all just tired, and needed some quiet time. The note was on the door because the neighbor kids come over and ring the doorbell until someone answers. It’s as if the neighbor kids are sitting at home, waiting for my cousins to return from the day so they can have somewhere to go play. I had no idea that this was the situation and just thought my cousins were being crabby. But after I got over my let down, I was glad to hear that they got some down time as a family.

Not many people know, but I LOVE to play the piano. I have played since I was a kid, and although I can’t read music, I play by ear. It has become an amazing tool that I use to process my life. I just sit down and play my mood. That concept seems so strange, but I stop thinking about playing the piano, and start thinking about the happenings of my life. I even get uncomfortable when people “listen in” because I almost feel like they are somehow reading my thoughts. The other night I played for 3 hours. I couldn’t sleep and my roommates were gone, so I played my busy mind to sleep from 11pm to 1am. I hope there are pianos in heaven.

Last year my mom gave me a book with little stories to read each day. The book is “Come Away My Beloved”. I smiled and accepted it, but I haven’t really read any of it. I thought it would be good bathroom reading, but I don’t have a basket of reading material in my bathroom. That’s actually sort of gross when you stop and think about it…anyway, I read the first entry from the book today while at a Starbucks. It is called The Call of Love. It reads…

O My beloved, abide under the shelter of the lattice, for I have betrothed you to Myself, and though you are sometimes indifferent toward Me, My love for you is at all times as a flame of fire. My ardor never cools. My longing for your love and affection is deep and constant.

Tarry not for an opportunity to have more time to be alone with Me. Take it, though you leave the tasks at hand. Nothing will suffer. Things are of less importance than you think. Our time together is like a garden full of flowers, whereas the time you give to the things is as a field full of stubble.

I love you, and if you can always, as it were, feel My pulse beat, you will receive insight that will give you sustaining strength. I bore your sins and I wish to carry your burdens. You may take the gift of a light and merry heart, for My love dispels all fear and is a cure for every ill. Lay your head upon My breast, and lose yourself in Me. You will experience resurrection life and peace; the joy of the Lord will become your strength; and wells of salvation will be opened within you.

I think the writer; Frances J. Roberts is trying to help the reader grasp the way that God feels about them. He takes some liberties to expand upon the character of a loving and forgiving God who wants to restore us to our best. It’s like love letters. I like to think of it as his blog.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the satisfaction that comes from studying and writing a blog. It’s the same feeling that I get when I play the piano. It’s time to intentionally  process life and connect with God. Just like my cousin’s family, I’ve had to put up a sign on the door that says, “I’ll call you”. It’s a strange thing to do as my personality craves the connection with others. But my character needs the time with God. My soul needs the time to reflect, to listen, and to connect. This time is so important. There will always be people in my life who will ring my doorbell until I answer. They need to see the door sign that draws a healthy boundary. I need that sign.

So join me in hanging the  “Do not disturb” sign on your door. Just add ,“our time together will be better after…I Promise”.

Shadows

A friend of mine shared Plato’s Allegory of the Cave with me recently. He was writing a leadership workshop that uses ideas from the allegory to drive home new perspectives for students who are stuck in a system of thinking. I had no idea what Plato’s Allegory of the Cave was, so he gave me a short synopsis which I will share with you.  If you would like to read the version that I found on a history web site, check the following link…  http://www.historyguide.org/intellect/allegory.html  You might have to cut and paste it into your browser window. It’s about 3 pages.

The allegory is a short story with a very specific and almost odd set of circumstances. Plato writes that there is a group of people who are being held in a dark cave. They are all chained together and facing a wall on which they only see the shadows that are cast from themselves, and the other people or animals what walk between the blazing fire behind them and the cavern wall. They are unable to move their heads in order to see the fire, and therefore their entire reality is the shadows. Plato continues with a “what if”. What if one of the prisoners was cut free, imagine their change of reality when they turn around for the first time and learn that the world is not shadows? What if they learn that fire, other people, and a world outside of the cave all exist? There would be physical pain as their eyes adjusted to the  first direct glimpse of the fire’s blazing light. And what if, after experiencing the world beyond the shadows, they returned to the cave to inform and free the others, and were unable to see in the darkness because their eyes had trouble adjusting back to the darkness and the others thought that the world away from the shadows took your sight? What then? Would they choose to stay in shackles, deceived by their limited experience and fear?

My friend was so excited about the idea of recreating the cave situation with a group of troubled teens so that they could draw the parallels between their narrow focus of the world and the world that really exists beyond their experience. It’s a great parallel to draw, and just as he was seeing it played out in that light, I was seeing the spiritual parallels.There is enormous depth to Plato’s Allegory and I openly admit that I may be interpreting certain parts incorrectly, but when my friend was telling me about this story I instantly replied, ” That is exactly how I feel about my faith”. He looked at me, not sharing the same belief, nodded, looked up, and continued on with his leadership workshop ideas.

I can’t help myself but feel as though we are all of the chained people, stuck seeing the world through a perspective that we don’t even remember choosing. As much as Plato saw the freedom from the chains as the “enlightenment of knowledge”, I see it as the awakening of our physical and spiritual potential. The “humanity” if you will, that we were originally supposed to live in.  It’s a freedom from the things that we were predisposed to from birth. I see Jesus as the one who came and cut the chains free, and he is telling us about a life which is beyond our experience. It is a vibrant life that is better than what we can see or imagine here in the shadows. But we have to have faith that what he has seen is better than our experience. There is an element of faith; that we can handle turning around and facing into the brilliant burning flame. We have to believe that the walk out of the cave into the unknown will be worth it. In Plato’s allegory, he says that the person’s eyes ” burned” as they saw the light. It implies that it hurt. I don’t think the movement is supposed to be easy and pain free. But leaving what we have known is worth the glorious brilliance of the life that we are created to live.

I appreciate that Plato writes about the people in the cave being bound in chains to the point that they are unable to even turn their heads around. It sounds so harsh. We are “in bondage to our sin” the Bible says. It is a reality of our lives. Here in bondage, we have become comfortable. We fear the freedom because it causes “blindness” and we don’t know what to do with that unknown.

Jesus came to remove the chains that held us in the shadows that were my reality. I took him up on the offer. I got up, and turned around. It was difficult. In fact, it still hurts years later. But the world is brilliant and vibrant. It’s hard to convince others that it’s better. But I can only tell them. They have to choose to leave the shadows. I’m embracing the life I was meant to live.

 

just a dusting

If you follow me on twitter, you will know that my drive to work yesterday was less than ideal. I live in the wonderful state of Minnesota which gets very cold and snowy in the winter. Yesterday I awoke to about 3 inches of fresh, beautiful snow on the ground. I was scheduled to teach a leadership seminar at a middle school about 26 miles from my house. My drive to the school ended up taking 2 1/2 hours. I definitely could have biked to work faster. It has always boggled my mind how you can stop dead on a highway. There are on and off ramps. You have the time to speed up and slow down in order to enter or exit the fast pace, but inevitably someone does something that makes the entire road stop dead.

People often think I’m crazy for driving across the cities every day for work. But being an extrovert, it’s a good balance for me. I often listen to music or call friends or family. Sometimes I have my own dance parties in the car and then try to get a smile out of someone as I drive by rock’n out. I love the crazy looks. My favorite are the “too cool for school” people,  or the people who have definitely not stopped at Starbucks yet. I know I have my mornings like that. But yesterday was a day that I just had to choose to have fun cause I was going crazy just sitting there.

My tendency is to gravitate toward movement. I like the fast pace of life, and things moving quickly. New places, new people, new adventures. It’s probably why I hate traffic so much. I feel stuck.

I have tons of little wind up toys on my desk. A few years ago, one of my coworkers gave me a frog that jumps up, flips over, then lands on it’s feet. I thought it was great, so now everyone looks for cool wind up toys, leaves them on my desk, and then during ADD moments we play with them. This year at christmas someone got “racing granny’s”. They are the funniest wind up toys ever. They are identical granny’s who look all old and hunched over, and they have walkers in front of them. You wind them up and watch them hobble to beat one another. It’s funny, but getting old and not being able to move is less than ideal.

In one of the classrooms this morning there was a poster on the wall of a small child named Alex. It was an “INSPIRATION” poster. Alex looked about 6 years old. Her skin looked gray, and she had a scarf on her head. Alex was sitting at behind a lemonade stand next to a vibrant yellow pitcher of cold, refreshing, lemonade. The caption read “Raised $10M to fight cancer for herself and others”. It made me question myself. Who would I be if I had a terminal illness attacking my body. Would I fight? Would I inspire? Would I be able to focus on something, or someone other than me? Alex did, and she was 6.

It’s crazy how paralyzed we become with just a small “dusting” of snow in our lives. It’s amazing how idealistic we tend to be, and how frustrated we get when things don’t go according to plan. We enter the road of life pretty slow, and like granny racers we exit pretty slow. And for some, like Alex, you break down, and have to use the shoulder. And people always slow down to look, but only a few stop to help. Alex inspired people to stop. When our exit comes and we prepare to go, will others be excited to see us get off the highway or will we be missed because we were a good pace setter?