the hem of His garment

Spring has arrived in the great state of Minnesota over the past few weeks. After an unusually snowy winter, flood warnings have been advising us of the rising rivers as the warm air melts all the snow. Although temperatures are only in the high 40’s and low 50’s, the air smells like a fresh Florida evening. There is an excitement that seems to grow in people as they embrace the warmer season.

But yesterday a snow storm came and dropped six inches of fresh, white snow right in the middle of the beautiful spring. I read dozens of Facebook and Twitter posts that yelled at spring for the snow, as if spring itself would somehow give them a calculated response. It’s as if the adjustment to spring were going a little too well, so we started living with the expectation that the weather would just continue to be warm and pleasant. But reality struck, as it always does. We were reminded that we are never in control of the weather, as much as we are never really in control of our lives. Unfortunately, we live with such a false sense of security.

A few weeks ago, I was let go from my job. When that reality struck, it was as if God were personally responding to the question I had posed in my last blog post. I wrestled with the question: if God walked into my job and said “follow me” would I be ready to go immediately? It’s pretty crazy how God answered my prayer that was expressing my deep desire for a greater dependence on Him. While God didn’t actually walk in the door and say “let’s go”, he sure sent the message.

After being let go, I took time in Wisconsin and Illinois to visit family and friends with my fiancé. During my drive back from northern Wisconsin this past Sunday, I started to reflect on the reality that I had been gone for a month and I wondered how I was sitting financially. I started thinking about all the places I’d stayed, the tanks of gas that got me around, and the meals I’d eaten, and I all of a sudden realized that I hadn’t paid for any of it! I was blown away as I recounted the people who had willingly offered to pay for food and gas without even knowing that I’d just lost my job.

Some close friends of mine recently traveled to Korea to visit their brother who has been teaching English there for the past few months. They boarded the plane and started the long flight to Japan, which would be their first stop before flying to Korea. After they had flown for 14 hours, the pilot came on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are beginning our decent and should be landing in Detroit in about 45 minutes.” My friends were so confused! While they were midflight, Japan was being devastated by an 8.9 earthquake and the airport in Japan had been closed. The pilot knew that telling the passengers earlier in the flight would only lead to panic and frustration because they would be helpless to make new plans until they landed.

Eventually my friends made it over to Korea to visit their brother, but their plans had to change. It definitely wasn’t the ideal. No one wakes up in the morning expecting an earthquake, or bad weather to interfere with their plans, or to lose their job. But life keeps happening. Difficult moments simply awaken us to the reality that we have very little control over the events that happen in our lives. So while we don’t get to choose what happens to us, we do get to choose our response.

After losing my job, I didn’t pay for a single thing for a month! But I didn’t even realize it at the time. It took an entire month of God’s provision in order for me to actually realize that He was the One doing it. I was still depending on myself for everything. It sounds so cliché to say “let go and let God” but the reality is that we have to let go of the false notion that we were ever in control to begin with.

As I have reflected on my work experience, I’ve come to the realization that I had such a false sense of security and overconfidence in my job. I felt like I had done great things for our organization and that I was going to eventually leave, but only on my terms. Then God came in and said “Brad, it’s time to follow me. Let’s go.” It was a hard blow to my pride. And it was a bit scary because I didn’t know my next step. But I have found comfort in knowing that I don’t have to have my future figured out. My number one priority is deepening my relationship with the God who anoints every one of my steps and who does know my future.

Frances J. Roberts wrote about it this way:

O my child, I am coming to you walking on the waters of the sorrows of your life; yes, above the sounds of the storm you shall hear My voice call your name.

You are never alone, for I am at your right hand. Never despair, for I am watching over and caring for you. Be not anxious. What seems to you to be a present and difficult situation is all part of My planning, and I am working out the details of circumstances so that I may bless you and reveal Myself to you in a new way.

As I have opened your eyes to see, so shall I open your ears to hear, and you shall come to know Me even as Moses did, yes, in a face-to-face relationship. For I will remove the veil that separated Me from you, and you will know Me as your dearest Friend and as your truest Comforter.

No darkness will hide the shining of My face, for I shall be to you as a bright star in the night sky. Never let your faith waver. Reach out your hand, and you shall touch the hem of My garment.

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